Shrikism

"A shrike is a bird which impales its victim on a thorn and then tears it apart muscle by muscle. In human terms, a shrike is a person who so gathers all the righteousness to himself or herself that everyone else must act out wickedness. Then in the very act of seeming to try to help, the shrike acturally destroys the other bit by bit. Worse, the shrike actually thinks he or she is truly trying to be loving and helpful." by John and Paula Sandford in Healing the Wounded Spirit.

I really didn't understand the principle they were trying to teach until I read this paragraph later in the chapter.

"The essence of shrikism is that it establishes personal righteousness at the expense of others. Not all performance-oriented people are shrikes, but all shrikes are performance-oriented. Having bought the lie that they must perform well to be loved, yet insecure about their performance, they are driven unconsciously to contrast themselves with others; others must look bad in order for the shrike to look good. The shrike fears rejection more than anything else, yet in his striving to outperform everyone, he gathers righteousnessto to himself. Without knowing it, he does the very things which make him almost impossible to live with. His end is rejection."